This is not the kind of split I intended​.​.​.

by As Gideon Weeps

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Two songs recorded this summer for a split that happened, but not a musical one.

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released 06 January 2014

Nich Farrell - Music/words/arts



all rights reserved


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Track Name: All My Friends Wear Halloween Socks
A Single lamplight lights the room,
muffled by a tapestry of flowers
that projects on the wall as bloodshed
We’ve gathered for a performance,
a performance of self indulgence
where words of hate are spoken in between songs of love
and I feel like I’m already looking at the low quality photos
that will flood the world
quicker than the blood to my hands and feet
It’s that isolation so dense you feel the marrow of your bones
drop a few degrees;
The kind that makes you want to pace the streets
Because you know you’re already home
and you’ve realized it’s just a place you stay
until you’re ready to go again
So I am the only one to sleep afterward these bedtime stories
and I dream of fluorescent panel lights
down blue & grey hallways
With the green lockers
until I reach those thick yellow doors;
This is my disjuncted color scheme
I thought changing the place I am
Choosing it
Would change me

But I am the same
And I hate it
Track Name: And Now I Will Destroy The Entire Universe
I have such a violent love for such a calm sea
when I look down into it, I see myself in the sky
as if I were part of something greater
and the closer I am, the more I matter,
but when I get too close it all sails away
on tiny ships on tiny waves

The calm sea does not love me
The calm sea does not love anyone
It is a temptress, lying siren
Trying to make me part an island
To lie at the bottom of this lake until the water is still
and choose a fate to be a stone at the bottom of this lake
But there is no reflection from below
No reflection

And our worst fear is that one day we’ll be happy

Mid-February walk to collect my thoughts
As if people had had them in their cars
and thrown them out their side windows to lie with the litter
On the side of the road, I stumbled upon a tree
With a pile of crisp apples, still red and green
And yet I was still the one that felt out of place
On a lonely walk to save lonely face
And I hope
That these are not truly my worst days
Because I don’t think I’ve hurt the most
Because when I thought I got my heart ripped out;
She just missed and took a rib
And someone made exactly who I needed

When you’re up too close; you just see the cracks in the paint
and when you’re too far back you’re just in a bad neighborhood
Maybe I just need to find the right distance
Maybe I just need to look the other way

And our worst fear is that one day we will be happy